i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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