so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize