69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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