She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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