she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
