I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize