tell your sister to shave her snatch
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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