Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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