I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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