No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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