3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its not stalking. its research.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize