just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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