Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
