im gay
i know
yea but for you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
