even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When did angry sex become our thing?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
