Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's shark week go big or go home
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
