I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's official drugs can't kill me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
