he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
