i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
