there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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