You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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