At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize