im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you would pick up someone in the library
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
