matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
