just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
