if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
