Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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