What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
