I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
