So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
