"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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