matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
