One girl and one boy is just not enough.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
