Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
