Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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