Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
