Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
