Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
