Reggie can tackle my bush.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
