do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
