I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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