watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
