My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
