No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
