You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
