Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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