Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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