just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
