I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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