Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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