Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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