our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
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When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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