And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize