you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
