Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
