You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
