What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
