White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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